Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Just Say No, I DARE you.

As I listened to my daughter's 5th grade class sing the DARE song at last's week's program graduation, I thought back to the Just Say No programs that I recall in school.  Did we have a nifty song too?  I don't remember. 

We're all familiar with the purpose and value of teaching kids how to stand up to peer pressure, value themselves and make good choices.  But, now that we're all grown up, how do we moms rate? 

Do you succumb to peer pressure?  Feel yourself saying "Yes" to commitments, activities even if you'd rather not? 

Yes, of course, let's have all the in-laws at our house. 
Sure!  I'll bake the cupcakes! 
Absolutely, count me in to help with the....

Maybe Just Say No should have a mommy curriculum.  After all, if you just say no to one commitment, what might you be saying yes to?  Yes to time to relax.  Yes to setting boundaries.  Yes to...

Tough love

I don't much like running.  I just can't do it.  Consequently, I've always had this admiration for those who run marathons and all that really tough kind of exercise.  Like there's some extra physical tough-ness gene I missed out on.  Or I'm a wimp. 

So I read with interest an article by Jillian Michaels on becoming a mother recently published in Self Magazine.  She seems pretty tough, after all.  Surely it's easy for someone like her.
But I really do know better.  Good moms are not made just by working harder.  You can work all night to get the baby to go to sleep, and still be unsuccessful.
It's not a toughness test.  Oh yes, there's endurance involved, for sure, but it's balance and expectations.  They are key.  Learning how to balance your needs with those of the child and the expectation that there really is no perfect balance.  And, just like the rest of us, Jillian struggles with those, too.