POEM - Columbus

Gutting Judgment

2012-01-31T16:50:00.000-05:00

Why must we judge each other so? How about a little MYOB?

I came across this post this morning:
4 Times It’s Perfectly OK to Judge Other Parents

In reading the 4 examples, our gut reaction might be to think “Oh yeah! Ugh. SO irritating, right? Those poor kids with dreadful, self-centered/absent/discipline-lacking mothers.”

But why? Seriously, what’s the point? How does it help us be better mothers ourselves? Because we can look down at another, without knowing the whole story?

It doesn’t seem a far cry from “Nah, nah, nah, I’m better than you!”

Maybe I’m judging the judgers, I don’t know. I’m guessing the author’s purpose is not malicious and is more for entertainment. But, still.

I think it bothers me so because so often I see moms at POEM, struggling with perinatal mood/anxiety disorders, actually believe the judgmental comments they hear.
And they feel not good enough, broken, flawed. And it’s just not true.

No two mothers are the same. No two children are the same. No two families are the same.

So, of course, we may see another’s parenting choice as one we’d not make in our own lives, but that’s fine. That doesn’t make one better than the other. Just different.

Enough with the judgment. Find something else to do, like supporting mothers to find the confidence to recognize that they are the expert in their own lives.

We must care for ourselves and our children in the way that works best for us.
It just DOES NOT MATTER what anyone else thinks.

Pertussis and PPD

2012-01-16T18:55:00.000-05:00

“I think that most people believe that it’s an opportunity that shouldn’t be missed,” said Dr. Michael Brady, (The Columbus Dispatch LINK), chairman of the Department of Pediatrics at Nationwide Children’s Hospital.

Dr. Brady was quoted in The Dispatch last week in an article discussing The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) report that pediatricians may vaccinate parents and caregivers for whooping cough (pertussis) when they’re in the office with their kiddos.

For in the best interest of the patient (the child), treating the parent can lead to better health outcomes. Absolutely! Super! Agreed.

Parents are busy and sometimes forgo their own routine preventative care, but rarely do they miss those well checks for their children. As an advocate for moms, I say don’t forget to take care of you! But as a busy mom myself, I too am guilty of sometimes putting the health care needs of my kids ahead of my own.

Back in 2010, the AAP similarly recommended that pediatricians screen moms for postpartum depression (PPD) and related disorders, using similar logic stated now in the pertussis vaccination report.

Pediatricians are the care providers who see moms:
~often the first one following baby’s arrival
~typically more than any other medical care provider in baby’s first year.

And since this means they’re also seeing the 1 mom in 5 who’s struggling with a postpartum mood/anxiety disorder, they’re in a unique position to help.

Help her to know that she’s not a failure. Postpartum disorders are not character flaws: rather, a treatable illness. She deserves support and care in order to best care for her baby.

Help her know she’s not alone. Help connect her to those who can help her get better. So she can be the mom she wants to be.

Help her see that getting resources and treatment will make it easier – and more enjoyable – to care for her baby and her family.

I hope Dr. Brady's colleagues agree that, in the interest of their young patients, they can address health issues of parents.

Then perhaps we'll see more discussion of postpartum depression and related disorders in the pediatric setting. A recent outreach project of the Franklin County Maternal Depression Task Force found that only about 26% of greater Columbus pediatric practices who returned survey data are discussing postpartum mood issues with the families in their care. Sadly, the vast majority of the 234 practices contacted didn’t respond at all. My fingers are crossed that the low response rate means that they are screening, talking with moms and essentially have it covered. But in talking with the hundreds of mothers through POEM each year, I doubt it. Yes, there are some wonderful local pediatricians who routinely refer to POEM and we think they're pretty amazing. So do the mothers who get help, and get better.

The Task Force, of which POEM is proud to be an active member, isn’t giving up on the next steps in the outreach project. This year we’ll continue to work to engage pediatricians and other care providers in hopes of enlisting their participation in supporting moms – and thusly, families.

But as a community, we all need to chip in. If your pediatrician doesn’t mention postpartum mood issues and the availability of resources, ask “Why not?”

And if you’re one of the moms who found POEM or other resources because of your pediatric practitioner, say “Thank you. You make a difference.”

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T12:40:00.000-05:00

On behalf of POEM, I extend our best wishes for a healthy and happy 2012. Here’s to a positive outlook and moving forward.

http://www.idlehearts.com/

Here’s also to a goodbye of 2011. At POEM, 2011 brought many mothers to us to work through the depths and fright of anxiety and depression. Perhaps you may look at your year like this mom:
2011? HA

And maybe some are feeling a little iffy about this calendar year, too. Well, that’s okay. All is not lost. Hope’s still in there.

Amid your review of last year and anticipation of the year ahead, I ask you to look at your expectations. Happy New Year: What’s your expectation of what that means? And is it realistic? Oftentimes, if your expectations are met or surpassed, things are rosy. If they’re different or not met, the outlook changes. Happy doesn’t mean perfect. Happy doesn’t mean there aren’t problems, failures, difficulties and challenges. Happy isn’t defined by someone else’s view.

If you’re looking for bliss or worrying about how others see you, the folks at OSU say that’s not so good for you. Here’s a recent study highlighting the effects on parents of perfectionism and worrying about what everyone else thinks. “Moms showed less confidence in their parenting abilities and dads felt more stress when they were more worried about what other people thought about their parenting skills.” Article LINK

I’m not saying let’s dream for mediocrity. Let’s just factor in the unexpected, complications and challenges as things we all face. Happy happens even in the midst of them. No matter where you are in your journey of motherhood, you’ll find your happy.

Rotarians and Rain

2011-12-22T11:24:00.002-05:00

I recently had the honor of attending a luncheon meeting of the Upper Arlington Rotary Club, an excellent local service organization. At the meeting, POEM was presented a grant award in support of our program services related to online and in-person support groups. We are thrilled and excited to provide these programs and help to carry out this year's Rotary Club theme, “Reach Within to Embrace Humanity.”

The morning of the Rotary meeting, I heard on the radio that Columbus is on track to have had the wettest year in recorded weather history. And the DeeJay commented, “Oh yeah, come to Columbus – we’re just like Seattle except without the Tech, Coffee and Awesome Views.” Seattle is a great city – and beautiful. We had the pleasure of attending our annual training conference there this fall and here was our dinner view:

So, right, Columbus may have little in common with Seattle, besides precipitation. But we do have:

Heart. I saw and heard it in each Rotarian that afternoon. They’re truly walking the walk in caring for our community. And within POEM, I see and hear it each day. The mothers who are active in supporting other mothers, over the phone, in person and in our online group – they make this community a wonderful place to be.

How to weather the weather? Get connected to the wonderful hearts right here in the heart of Ohio. That’s the real sunshine, here anytime you need it.

The POEM Support Line: 614.315.8989

E-mail for info about the private online group: tonya@poemonline.org

My parents were groovy. And awesome.

2011-12-05T14:20:00.001-05:00

Bob and Jan

Last week at the library, an acquaintance of mine mentioned a blog-turned-book, My Parents Were Awesome, full of essays from adult children about their parents before they were born.

Here’s an excerpt from the book overview: “They bathed you. They fed you. They raised you to become the person you are today. Your parents are an integral part of your story. But guess what? They have a story too—one that started long before you entered the picture. Before embarrassing fanny packs and Lite FM, there was a time when Mom and Dad were young and carefree—just like you. They were also fun and flirty, full of hope and desire and effortlessly cool.”

Personally, I was definitely never effortlessly cool in my whole life. But yes, of course, I did have likes and interests before my kids arrived. But what about now that life is often dominated with tasks and activities related to my children?

I think the snapshots of days gone by can serve as a reminder to hang on to something that is you, alone. Or yours, as a couple, pre-kiddos. Like to read? I heard there’s this cute book. Connect with friends or look to make some new ones. Just something, anything that reminds you that you are still in there and deserve your own time and needs. And if you’re not feeling like yourself due to postpartum depression or a related maternal mood issue and can’t think of a thing you enjoy, just know that you ARE still in there. With help you will feel like you again.

I know that I struggled with that very concept. I thought good moms only considered their children’s needs. In the throes of PPD, I believed it to be fact and could never do enough. Just do more, I would think. Then I’ll feel better. Now I know that’s not true. I have to care for me so I can care for them. Had I felt like I could think straight, I could have looked to my parents’ fine example. Yes, they had a life before me. But they also had a life outside of my care while I was around. They did their own fun stuff while every need of mine was attended to, and then some. They loved me and they loved each other – and still do. And they had their own individual interests – and still do. And now I can show my children that too.

So at the library, I went as plain old Tonya, bypassing educational, nonfiction, productive-type reading and went right for Harry Bosch. Just for fun. For me.

New Baby = Holiday Hype

2011-11-28T11:56:00.001-05:00

It’s the most wonderful time of your life.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

It’s magical!

Aren’t you so excited?

Do you have your shopping done?

The similarities between the anticipation of a new baby and the anticipation of the fun and excitement of the holidays are pretty darn similar. And, likewise, some parts are similarly mythical.

Yes, there are magical, amazing, exciting moments. Moments to cherish. But a sustained wowee-wowee-wow-this-is-so-great-all-day-long doesn’t exist in reality. We spend quite a bit of time at POEM de-bunking the myths about new motherhood that get in the way of mom's mental and physical health. How about addressing these same issues in the context of the holiday season? There’s often:

Lack of sleep

Unsolicited advice

Budget strains

Visitors: some helpful, some not so much

Long to-do lists

Super-human expectations

...And other stresses on our minds and bodies which aren’t regularly present. So, taking some regular reality checks on how we’re taking care of ourselves is one of the few must-do items to put on the list.

Prep Work

2011-11-22T09:22:00.001-05:00

When the Penn State scandal broke, among the many other thoughts and reactions that came to mind, was a comment made in one of the trainings I’d conducted just a few weeks earlier. One of the attendees, a therapist, was speaking about the work her client did to prepare for having a baby. The client was a survivor of child sex abuse and was about to become a mother herself.

New moms can experience PTSD resulting from a variety of traumatic situations – from the past or throughout the pregnancy and childbirth experience. Learn more here. This young woman had worked with her counselor on the possible triggers – from labor and delivery, to beginning breastfeeding, to the stresses of sleep deprivation and how that may affect her. And I thought, WOW. That work is equally, if not more, important than making sure the diapers, sleepers and other supplies are ready to go.

Yes, truly, nothing can prepare you for the experience of becoming a mother. But how about thinking ahead about particular stresses and at least plan for emotional support (someone nonjudgmental and reliable to lean on) in addition to the practical support (who’s helping with the baby care)?

Then that got me thinking about preparing for the holiday season. What are the things we think about? Cards? Gifts? Decorations? Perhaps we should also consider how our minds and bodies react to a longer to-do list. Less sunshine with more awake time spent in darkness. The increased presence of the extended family. Greater strains on the family budget. Cooking. And so on.

As you make your holiday preparations, put your own care – time for self, sleep, connecting with supportive others – right there at the top of EVERY list. And check it twice.

It’s okay to reach out for help. That’s why we’re here. www.poemonline.org

Make like a leaf and...

2011-11-09T13:57:00.000-05:00

Let it go.

The experts at Living Self Care remind us to grab a second and take a little lesson about this changing fall season. (portions here are excerpted from their original blog post)

We are fortunate to enjoy a beautiful autumn in Ohio with the colors of the changing leaves. And then what happens? The leaves fall. The trees shed their leaves to allow for new growth in the spring.

Hmmm, letting go of something that doesn't serve you well? What a great idea. Are you feeling guilty about a recent mistake? Fretting about getting through that long to-do list? Holding on to a worry or anger?

Step outside and feel the cool air for a minute. Or take a second to glance out the window. Do you see how effortlessly the leaves let go? Let this inspire you to let go of something that isn't serving you anymore. Jot that something (or somethings if you're feeling really inspired!) down on a piece of paper - whatever comes to mind - without judging or censoring it. Now crumble it, watch it fall to the trash and release it from you.

Share in the magic of fall. It's time to release the old to make way for the new.

The Servant Song

2011-11-08T11:13:00.001-05:00

Servant. This word keeps popping up in my mind.

Today is Election Day. The day we take the time out of our already busy schedules to cast our vote on a variety of candidates and issues. If elected, these candidates often use the term “public servant.” I’m not even touching the range of thoughts on that. No way.

But what does is mean, “to serve?” To be a servant?

At POEM, we serve mothers, families, communities and our state by welcoming and caring for moms struggling with perinatal (all pregnancy through a year or so postpartum) emotional difficulties. We know that maternal mental health is central to family health. Family health is central to community health. Community health is central to the health of our state. Here in Ohio we have much to do, and we continue to serve each and every day.

Moms we serve are from many different backgrounds, philosophies, belief systems, ethnicities and so on. We truly believe the every woman is the expert of her own life and thusly, respect her thoughts and decisions.

I hold this POEM philosophy very dear. Yet, I am compelled to share this very personal part of me – a few lines of what might be my favorite hymn. The Servant Song. I get a little teary eyed nearly every time we sing it. Last week, we sang it at choir rehearsal and I kept thinking of a couple of conversations I’d had on the Support Line that day.

And then, yesterday evening on a Support Line call, a new mother said to me about 25 minutes into our conversation: “You sound so calm. You must have it all figured out. I bet you’re a great mom.” And as I gently responded with what wellness is really like, I thought again of this song.

I think of the wonderfully unique mothers I talk with each day.

I know how hard you work. And I want you to know that you’re not going it alone. Yes, with help, you will feel better. The darkness, confusion and worry will wane.

But there’s no one who’s got it all figured out. No mom who always knows what to do. No mom who’s sure of herself all the time.

So I’m sharing excerpts of a few verses of the beautiful song written by New Zealander Richard Gillard in hopes you’ll know that we’re here, with you.

We are pilgrims on a journey
We are trav’lers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load

I will hold the light for you
In the night-time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the peace you long to hear

I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh I'll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through

We’re here, walking the journey of motherhood together, sharing peace in the darkest hours. We’re here, right beside you.

What I forgot that I remembered

2011-10-06T16:45:00.000-04:00

In mid-September, your loyal POEM leaders attended the annual Postpartum Support International (PSI) Conference. As is every year, we go to discuss best practices with our colleagues from around the country and across the world; learn about new and innovative programs and how they're serving women with perinatal mood issues; re-connect with friends we've made doing this work for many years; and more. Lots more, really. It's just fabulous. Come along next time.

And as I sat at the MotherWoman session, furiously scribbling notes, with the always vibrant and dynamic Liz Friedman and Annette Cycon about Perinatal Support Groups, I realized that I forgot an important part of managing such groups. I'd not fully considered or acknowledged the sheer importance of always, consistently, holding meetings. I smiled to myself as I mentally slapped my forehead.
In the approximately 13 years that I have been co-facilitating support groups in Central Ohio, we have cancelled 1 meeting. UNO. And then it was only because it was a level 3 snow emergency and I don't think the city would've considered support group facilitators part of emergency personnel. That simple fact had never occurred to me. Does it make a difference to women to know that we’re always here? I would think so, right?

I’d forgotten how important steadfast reliability is, with regard to this program. How much it means to always be there. I say it all the time, to community members, health care providers and such: Here’s what we do at POEM. “Our program services are…” Our facilitators are caring and compassionate, yet also sharp and educated. But I stopped really thinking about the fact that we are rooted in always being there. About how the quality, reliable, face-to-face, peer-to-peer support groups like POEM and others through PSI do change lives.

About how many women I’ve watched and cared for, meeting after meeting, overcome the depths of darkness to joy, confidence, strength. It is beautiful.

Thank you, Liz and Annette. Thank you for teaching me about your landmark program in Massachusetts. Thank you for supporting, engaging, teaching and empowering the many women in your region. And, thank you for helping me to remember and appreciate how vital it is to Be Here.

Thank you to Amy and all the POEM co-facilitators who arrive, fully present, session after session. It matters. You matter.

Thank you to the mothers and families who attend our groups, year after year, for entrusting us with your thoughts, fears, worries and hopes. You matter.

I think we’ll stick around.

2 meetings. 3 articles. 4 you.

2011-09-09T12:44:00.001-04:00

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/2-meetings--3-articles--4-you-.html?soid=1102110441345&aid=AkRIdcYT7Jk

It’s okay to reach out for help.That’s why we’re here. www.poemonline.org

A video message from POEM

2011-05-16T16:20:00.000-04:00

It’s okay to reach out for help.That’s why we’re here. www.poemonline.org

10 Celebrities Who Battled Postpartum Depression - depression - Health.com

2011-02-16T10:04:00.001-05:00

Yes, even with nannies, personal assistants for their personal assistants, personal trainers and never-ending Starbucks supply, they can get it too. Must be something to this REAL ILLNESS thing.

10 Celebrities Who Battled Postpartum Depression - depression - Health.com

It’s okay to reach out for help.That’s why we’re here. http://www.poemonline.org/

You're Amazing.

2011-02-14T12:47:00.000-05:00

I certainly know this isn't the way Bruno Mars meant it, but when I heard this song on the radio this morning...

I thought of our POEM moms.
So many of you feel like you're doing things wrong. Like there's One Right Way to parent. But your symptoms - of a perinatal mood/anxiety disorder - hide the truth that there is no perfect. If you are trying, you are perfect. "If perfect's what you're seaching for, than just stay the same," he sings.

When you're suffering from anxiety, depression, strange thoughts, you sure don't feel amazing. Anything but. But those symptoms have nothing to do with your beauty. I see you with your babies at group, and I hear your hurt --but I see the love for your child. I see that you're trying so hard. And it is amazing, your strength and courage. In another line, Bruno croons "It's so sad to think that she don't see what I see," and I wish that you could see the beautiful mother that I see.

The MOMologues

2011-02-10T14:16:00.006-05:00

Valentine's Day made easy. (for your sweetheart)

Tickets to The MOMologues make the perfect Valentine gift.

This hilarious production features local moms & celebrities including Ellie Merritt of NBC4 and Ann Fisher of WOSU.

Ticket proceeds help POEM support moms & families in our community and across the state.

Click HERE for more about the show.

Click HERE for tickets - on sale February 12.

original play written by L. Rafferty, S. Cloutier & S. Eppolito
Produced by special arrangement with Samuel French Inc.

February Meeting Dates and Tips for Feeling Better

2011-02-01T15:13:00.005-05:00

In February, we celebrate Valentine's Day and National Heart Month. Take heart if you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious and/or depressed. POEM (Perinatal Outreach and Encouragement for Moms) is here to help. Plan to attend a support group meeting in February:

10 a.m., Saturday, February 12

or

7 p.m., Tuesday, February 22

Also, show yourself some"love" by trying these 10 tips for feeling better.

1. Let others know what they can do to help. Allow a friend to pick up a few items for you at the grocery store. Let Grandma or an older neighbor who just loves to hold babies come over and rock the baby. If you have other children, seek out play dates and offer to take turns.

2. Screen phone calls. Let the answering machine pick up and/or send all calls to voicemail. Too often, especially during the day and early evening hours, many calls are simply solicitations.

3. Allow yourself a moment to laugh. Rent a comedy or watch cartoons you enjoyed as a child.

4. Eat well. Make readily available healthy choices that are quick and convenient: bananas, pre-cut veggies, nuts and bottled water are a good start.

5. Avoid caffeine and alcohol. When you are tired and stressed, caffeine and/or a good, stiff drink are very tempting, but fight the urge. Try herbal tea or flavored water instead.

6. Take a walk. This is easier said than done, especially during these long, winter months. Nevertheless, consider walking at an indoor shopping mall or local recreation center. And on those rare, yet wonderful, days when the sun is out and the temperatures are moderate, bundle up the baby and you and head outside.

7. Get out of the house. Even when this feels like a chore, push yourself to meet a friend for lunch or vist a local library.

8. Confide in someone you trust. Whether you seek professional support or talk to a trusted friend, discussing your feelings and emotions in a safe environment will help.

9. If on medication, take it as prescribed. If the medication you are taking doesn't seem to be working, ask your health care provider about other options.

10. Cut yourself some slack. Motherhood is daunting, even under ideal circumstances. Celebrate successes, big and small, and know that less than perfect is perfectly okay.

It’s okay to reach out for help.That’s why we’re here. http://www.poemonline.org/

January Meeting Schedule

2011-01-03T12:47:00.002-05:00

Columbus Support Group Meetings in January:

Saturday, January 8 at 10am

Tuesday, January 25 at 7pm

Call 614.315.8989 or email amy@poemonline.org for meeting details.

December meetings

2010-12-05T14:45:00.002-05:00

Support Group meetings for December:

Saturday, December 11 at 10am

Tuesday, December 28 at 7pm

Call the Support Line, 614-315-8989 or email tonya@poemonline.org for more information.

Next Support Group Meeting

2010-11-15T21:37:00.002-05:00

The next POEM Columbus Support Group meeting is scheduled for Tuesday, November 30, 7pm at Northwest Counseling Services. Call the Support Line, 614.315.8989 for questions or more information.

THANK YOU to the caller who pointed out the incorrect date in the last post! I just got your message and will call you in the morning.

November Support Group Meetings

2010-11-05T22:52:00.003-04:00

POEM Columbus Support Group Meetings for November are scheduled for -

Saturday, November 13 at 10am

Tuesday, November 26 at 7pm

Both meetings are held at Northwest Counseling Services, 1560 Fishinger Rd. Columbus, 43221
CLICK HERE FOR MAP LINK

Call the Support Line, 614-315-8989, with any questions or concerns.

Upcoming Support Group Meetings

2010-10-05T09:57:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure why our map & meeting dates aren't showing up right beside here... Until it's fixed, here are our upcoming meeting dates & times for October:

SATURDAY OCTOBER 9 10AM
TUESDAY OCTOBER 26 7PM

We meet at Northwest Counseling Services
1560 Fishinger Rd
Columbus, 43221

CLICK HERE FOR LINK TO MAP/DIRECTIONS

Call the Support Line, 614-315-8989, if you have any questions.

OSU recruiting participants for research studies

2010-08-27T20:45:00.002-04:00

The Ohio State University Medical Center's Stress and Health in Pregnancy Program is currently recruiting participants for 3 studies. CLICK HERE to learn about this valuable research and see if you qualify to participate!

Great Research from The OSU!

2010-06-17T13:53:00.002-04:00

Click below for the link to the article:
Changing Thoughts Key To Battling Even Severe Depression

It’s okay to reach out for help.That’s why we’re here.
http://www.poemonline.org/

Glenn Close and family members are working to destigmatize mental illness - The Boston Globe

2010-05-26T16:41:00.001-04:00

Glenn Close and family members are working to destigmatize mental illness - The Boston Globe

Posted using ShareThis

Raise awareness of depression. Volunteer, Donate, Support Walk To Washington | Walk to Washington

2010-05-17T11:49:00.002-04:00

Raise awareness of depression. Volunteer, Donate, Support Walk To Washington Walk to Washington

Posted using ShareThis

2010-03-31T12:14:00.002-04:00

Spots are filling up quickly. Sign up today! CLICK HERE for the registration brochure.

"Parents need to take care of themselves before they take care of a baby." - Jennifer Shu, pediatrician

2010-02-12T09:13:00.002-05:00

A growing number of pediatricians are speaking up about the importance of looking at the health of their patient's parents. These great docs recognize how integral the health and well being of mom and dad are to the child. Here's a recent article in USA Today, Pediatricians often step in to treat new parents, too, featuring a few of these forward-thinking practitioners.

We are fortunate to see this same trend in our local pediatricians as well. The interest in addressing maternal mental health during recent educational presentations at Nationwide Children's Hospital Grand Rounds, NCH Developmental Behavioral Pediatrics and Olentangy Pediatrics have been some of the most vibrant and engaging we've encountered.

Not feeling like yourself? Speak up. Your child's pediatrician is listening.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
www.poemonline.org

Being the Expert of Your Own Life

2010-02-10T15:03:00.002-05:00

This great article in Redbook Magazine by Ylonda Gault Caviness shares tips on reaching for confidence in your own mothering abilities. Her thoughts and words mesh well with a couple of POEM's well-worn philosophies: 1) Every mother is the expert of her own life. 2) Strength in mothering also comes from staying connected to the woman within. She also importantly mentions surrounding yourself with truly supportive people and while info from experts is important, don't go overboard.

"Am I a Good Enough Mom?"
You bet you are. And don't let anyone tell you different. Here's how to deflect anyone who tries to steal your mommy mojo.
By Ylonda Gault Caviness

When we first caught each other's gaze, the older woman gave me a tender, knowing smile. I guess I was awash in that bleary-eyed, new-mother glow. Or maybe it was my unhurried, aimless push of the stroller that signaled I was new at this mom thing. How kind of her to offer a reassuring gesture, I thought. The gentle lady came closer, peeking into the carriage. Suddenly, all sweetness faded. She glared at me and scolded: "No hat? That baby is going to catch her death of cold!"

I was mortified. In my heart, I know I shouldn't have let it bother me. But in my head, dueling emotional responses ranged from defiance — Who does that crotchety bat think she is? — to defeat — Maybe I'm not old enough, wise enough, or good enough to mother my child the right way.
By now, with three kids in tow, I've weathered just about every meddlesome opinion, disapproving eye, and outright countermand you can imagine from what I call the Parenting Peanut Gallery: the folks in your life who sit on the sidelines and heckle you with child-rearing judgments — or, even worse, flout your mom rules and policies behind your back — with no regard for your feelings or authority.

While these digs don't leave visible scarring, they can undercut your natural mothering instincts and leave you plain old fighting mad. "There is no shortage of people ready to pick apart your parenting skills," says Michele Borba, author of 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know. "It can be hurtful, but when you let them shake your confidence in who you are as a mom, that's when the real damage is done."The secret to being a great mother is believing in yourself. And one of the best ways to do that is to silence that Parenting Peanut Gallery, once and for all. Here's how:

Stand up for yourself.
Address criticism as soon as it happens, so you don't hold in your anger and let it fester. "We women spend a lot of time questioning whether something should or shouldn't make us angry instead of confronting our true feelings," says Borba. "Don't be rude, but let a criticizer know they've crossed a line."

It took many hits for me to finally figure out that in order to feel confident about my parenting, I had to put busybodies in their place. With my firstborn, I often let an off-the-cuff remark from an uppity mom on the playground go seemingly unnoticed, so as not to make a scene. But afterward, I'd be burning up inside. Nowadays, I don't let people get away with offering up annoying advice, and I've managed to come up with some pretty witty retorts. Recently, a nanny at the playground said to me rather haughtily, "Hot sauce will get your son to stop sucking his fingers." I forced a smile and answered: "Thanks. He's not yet 2, but if he's still sucking them at 22, I'll take you up on that."

Not so quick with a comeback? Bria Simpson, author of The Balanced Mom: Raising Your Kids Without Losing Yourself, suggests using this easy script: "I know you have different ideas about parenting. I respect yours and I need you to respect mine."

Use ammo from the experts.
Your instincts are your best handbook to mothering. But it doesn't hurt to arm yourself with informed guidance. Read a book or two — but not 20. Consult your pediatrician. Talk to friends whose parenting styles you admire. "Mix and match to arrive at your own style," says Debbie Glasser, Ph.D., founder of newsforparents.org. "When you find out what works for you, you won't be so vulnerable to the push and pull of outsiders."

And when you really want to get the quibblers off your back, never underestimate the power of these three words: "My pediatrician says...." With that preface you get instant cred, even if you say that your baby is allergic to mauve. Seriously.

Get your guy on your side.
Most nights, around 8 p.m., you'll find me issuing orders like a traffic cop: "Put your homework in your backpacks. Take a shower. Brush your teeth." Some nights everything clicks, and by 8:30 everyone is ready to go night-night. But other nights, my husband derails my system by offering horseback rides, telling jokes, or regaling the kids with stories about his childhood. Sometimes I find this kind of sweet. But most of the time, it just eats me up.

"Spousal sabotage is a big complaint from moms — who often play 'bad cop' by default when dads just want to have fun," says Simpson. Avoid chastising your partner in front of the kids in the heat of the moment. "That kind of squabbling undermines both parents' authority and teaches kids to play you against each other," she explains. Instead, pull your guy aside and quietly explain that his actions undercut your efforts. Then suggest alternatives to his rowdy behavior, such as reading a book with the children or participating in what you're doing so he's not sabotaging you. Later, follow up with him — make sure you're still on the same page about house rules and remind him how crucial it is that you maintain a united parenting front.
Meanwhile, it's also critical to remain somewhat flexible — especially when your kids are at a friend's or relative's house. "When you model flexibility, children learn positive lessons about problem-solving," says Elizabeth Berger, M.D., a child psychiatrist and the author of Raising Kids with Character. Gina Williams, 41, a mom in Glenn Dale, MD, is adamantly against TV and video games, and so far her strident house rule has held up. But when her two sons — Zion, 6, and Dylan, 2 — visit Grandma, they're treated to a screen-time bonanza: television, video, handheld games, you name it. Instead of fighting with her mother, however, Gina softened up her rule. "I focus on the things I can control in my own house," she says. "I just say, 'What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's.'"

Ditch the people who bring you down.
Feeling a certain amount of self-doubt about our mothering is normal, says Borba. But when your friends actually add to your parenting insecurity, it might be time to find a new mommy group. For Patty Kamson, 44, a nearly 20-year friendship had to end because her pal kept criticizing her parenting skills. "She thought I was soft on my kids and had no qualms voicing her opinion," says Patty, who lives in Los Angeles. While the criticisms never led Patty to change her mothering style, there were times when "I wondered, What if she's right?" she says. But when Patty's daughter had a meltdown during a get-together, her now former friend "began to lay into me about how my kids and I need to toughen up," she says. So Patty cut her loose. "Riding you about how you mother? Nothing cuts deeper than that," she explains. "I feel better about my parenting — and myself — without that toxic relationship."

Stay true to you.
All mommy, all the time isn't good for your kids, and it isn't good for you either. To keep your own inner voice from being drowned out by the cacophony from underminers, you have to stay connected to the woman you were before you became a mom. Taking just 15 minutes a day for yourself for some quiet reflection will help you hone and trust your instincts. "You're much less affected by what others say if you trust your own gut," says Simpson.

text4baby

2010-02-05T21:10:00.002-05:00

WOW. How neat is this?: Free weekly text messages with tips for pregnant and new moms from the National Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition.

The program includes information about the blues, depression, anxiety, emotions, during pregnancy and postpartum. Postpartum Support International, the organization for which POEM is the Ohio affiliate, is a partner in the emotional health portion.

Text BABY to 511411
Envia BEBE al 511411 para Español

The SIGN UP INSTRUCTIONS from the Text4baby website:
Registration is easy and can be done at www.text4baby.org or from your cell phone. Simply text the word BABY (or BEBE for Spanish) to 511411. You’ll be asked to enter your baby’s due date or your baby’s birthday and your zip code.

Once you are registered you will start receiving free messages with tips for your pregnancy and caring for your baby. These messages are timed to your due date or your baby’s birth date. If your due date changes, you can text UPDATE to 511411 and enter your new due date.

If you want to stop receiving messages from Text4baby, you can text STOP to 511411. If you want to start the messages again, you will have to re-register by sending BABY to 511411 (BEBE to 511411 for Spanish messages).

New Study at Denison University

2010-01-31T21:00:00.002-05:00

If you or someone you know is pregnant or has given birth in the past 3 months, contact the researchers at Denison University in Granville Ohio to participate in a quick research study. They're looking at stress, support and mood changes around pregnancy and their findings could help us provide better support to mothers. Participants will complete two confidential phone surveys and are paid $25. Email connect@denison.edu or call 740-587-8561.

2010 Group Meeting Schedule

2010-01-26T14:18:00.003-05:00

Saturdays, 10am
January 9
February 13
March 13
April 10
May 8
June 12
July 10
August 14
September 11
October 9
November 13
December 11

Tuesdays, 7pm
January 26
February 23
March 30
April 27
May 25
June 29
July 27
August 31
September 28
October 26
November 30
December 28

Map and location are posted on the upper right-hand corner

MOTHERS Act Passes Senate

2010-01-09T14:46:00.004-05:00

The MOTHERS Act, which focuses on postpartum depression related public awareness campaigns, research, education and services passed in the Senate on December 24, 2009 as part of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

Expert Susan Stone informed us of an audio post explaining the basic initiatives of the MOTHERS Act. Click HERE to listen.

We have reason to be hopeful that the MOTHERS Act will succeed through the House of Representatives, as it has previously passed with nearly unanimous bipartisan support.

There is, however, more to do. Contact Susan Stone today and add your name to the list of MOTHERS Act supporters. Our legislators need to see that Ohioans support this bill. Send your name, state and any affiliation (including MOM) to susanstonelcsw@aol.com. Your contact information will remain confidential. See you on the list.

Managing Holiday Stress

2009-12-23T21:53:00.002-05:00

POEM would like to remind you to acknowledge your feelings and take breathers this Holiday season. It's okay to to express your feelings or to take 10-15 minutes out of your day to de-stress. Some favorites: take a winter wonderland walk to look at lights, curl up with a "classic," listen to calming music, nap by the fire. Happy Holidays friends.

Find more information on managing Holiday stress here:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/MH00030

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

December Meetings + New Page Feature

2009-12-10T16:11:00.005-05:00

Our Support Group meeting schedule for December:
Saturday, December 12 at 10am
Tuesday, December 29 at 7pm

Location:
Northwest Counseling
1560 Fishinger Rd. Columbus, 43221
CLICK HERE for map/directions

From now on, you will be able to find our next support group meeting over to the right on this page. There's a little map with the meeting location below the date. With this addition, we'll be able to resume posting other content back on this page. We'd stopped adding other content following the feedback that our meeting announcements were difficult to locate when there were other postings here. Now that we've hopefully resolved that issue, you'll begin to see other items that may be of interest posted here again.

As always, we welcome any thoughts and suggestions regarding the content an format of this page.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

Support Group Meeting Tomorrow

2009-11-13T14:02:00.002-05:00

Simple steps can help you find the joy in the season. Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can help ward off stress and depression.

Join us on Saturday, November 14th to discuss strategies for dealing with holiday stress, as well as support one another in pregnancy, postpartum or maternal emotional health.

Saturday, November 14th at 10 am
Northwest Counseling
1560 Fishinger Road
Columbus, OH 43221
Map link

Remaining 2009 meetings:
Tuesday, November 24 7pm
Saturday, December 12 10am
Tuesday, December 29 7pm

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

Meeting Tomorrow

2009-10-26T13:04:00.003-04:00

Our Columbus area Support Groups meet tomorrow evening, 10/27, 7:00pm, at Northwest Counseling (MAP LINK)

As requested, we will have our annual Handling Holiday Stress worksheet/discussion at tomorrow's meeting as well as the 11/14 meeting. We'll have a little addition for the 11/14 meeting for those of you who plan to attend both. Thanks for the feedback POEM moms! What a great idea to move this before the holiday season comes rolling in next month.

2009 Meetings:
10/27 7pm
11/14 10am
11/24 7pm
12/12 10am
12/29 7pm

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

http://www.poemonline.org/

Next Meeting, Format and Principles

2009-10-08T16:54:00.006-04:00

Plan to come to our next meeting, Saturday, October 10 at 10 am at Northwest Counseling Center (Map/Directions link)

Encompassing our mission to support moms from pregnancy and beyond, we facilitate two concurrent groups. We have the pregnancy/postpartum group to support and share among mothers (and welcome support persons) during this time. We also offer a separate Maternal Wellness Group for moms beyond the postpartum time period.

This allows us to more fully support both new perinatal mamas and their specific set of needs while simultaneously providing a separate space for women who've recovered from initial postpartum stresses to share and support each other.

We begin the meeting all together and spend the final 30 minutes or so as one group, allowing time for the valuable sharing of knowledge between the more experienced and new moms.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE that our core group meeting principle - to provide a caring, safe, relaxed, non-judgmental and confidential environment where moms have the option to share or just listen - remains with both groups.

Please call the Support Line (614.315.8989) or email amy@poemonline.org for more information.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

Meeting Tomorrow

2009-09-28T10:34:00.006-04:00

Our next Support Group meeting is scheduled for Tuesday, September 29 at 7:00pm (tomorrow evening). Our meetings are held at Northwest Counseling Services, 1560 Fishinger Rd. Columbus, 43221. MAP/DIRECTIONS LINK

We have two concurrent meetings:
1) Pregnancy/Postpartum Support
2) Maternal Wellness (for mothers beyond the first postpartum year)

Call 614-315-8989 or email amy@poemonline.org for more information.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

Shop at Kroger? Your Kroger Plus Card can support POEM

2009-09-04T13:42:00.004-04:00

Help provide support, educational and advocacy services for pregnant and parenting women just by scanning your Kroger Plus Card. All you have to do is register your card with our organization and you're all set! The instructions are below for online sign up.

POEM’s NPO number 84176.

TO USE THE KROGER COMMUNITY REWARDS PROGRAM:

Register online at www.krogercommunityrewards.com

****You may need to scroll down to see the sign-up information on every page****

Be sure to have your Kroger Plus card handy and register your card with your organization after you sign up.

If you do not yet have a Kroger Plus card, they are available at the customer service desk at any Kroger.

Click on Sign In/Register

Most participants are new online customers, so you must click on SIGN UP TODAY in the ‘New Customer?’ box.

Sign up for a Kroger Rewards Account by entering zip code, clicking on favorite store, entering your email address and creating a password, agreeing to the terms and conditions.

You will then get a message to check your email inbox and click on the link within the body of the email.

Click on My Account and use your email address and password to proceed to the next step.

Click on Edit Kroger Community Rewards information and input your Kroger Plus card number.
Update or confirm your information.

Enter NPO number or name of organization, select organization from list and click on confirm.
To verify you are enrolled correctly, you will see your organization’s name on the right side of your information page.

REMEMBER, purchases will not count for your group until after your card is registered.

Do you use your phone number at the register? Call 877-576-7587 to get your Kroger Plus card number.

Swipe your registered Kroger Plus card or use the phone number that is related to their registered Kroger Plus card when shopping for each purchase to count.

If you are interested in the alternate SCANBAR method of member registration, please call 800-837-4483 and a SCANBAR letter will be mailed to you.

Call our business line at 614.306.7313 or Kroger at 800.837.4483 if you have any questions. Thanks!

Great post on WSJ blog

2009-08-29T14:06:00.005-04:00

Author Michelle Gerdes bravely writes about her experience with PPD and returning to work on The Wall Street Journal's Blog, The Juggle.

At the close of her article, she asks for readers' comments about their own experiences. Be forewarned, though, some of the comments are those who obviously haven't learned about non-judgmental mom-to-mom support - a principal we hold so dear here at POEM. Several are, though, thoughtful comments from mothers who've experienced similar issues, yet again showing that sharing our trials, really does help us feel not so alone.

Thank you, Ms. Gerdes, for opening up about your struggles.

http://www.poemonline.org/

Thank you, Jane Honikman.

2009-08-29T13:52:00.004-04:00

At the Postpartum Support International(PSI) Annual Conference earlier this month, your humble POEM directors were presented with the Jane Honikman Award. Jane is the founder of PSI, and the award was created to note "outstanding contributions to the goal of increased awareness of emotional health relating to childbearing."

Not only is it an honor to be recognized for our work, but to receive it from Jane - Wow. She's a powerhouse in a petite package. She has continually appeared undaunted by the many obstacles in the recognition of both postpartum mood disorders and the immense value of social support. She has forged on -providing a voice of support and leadership to both countless families and survivors who look to follow in her footsteps.

Thank you.

Check out Jane's warm & welcoming website here.

Upcoming Support Meetings

2009-08-18T22:15:00.005-04:00

Our next Columbus area Support Group meeting is one week away - August 25. We begin around 7pm.

We meet at Northwest Counseling Center, 1560 Fishinger Rd, Columbus, 43221. CLICK HERE for map/directions.

Additional Meeting Dates -

Saturdays, 10am:
Sept. 12
Oct. 10
Nov. 14
Dec. 12

Tuesdays, 7pm:
Aug. 25
Sept. 29
Oct. 27
Nov. 24
Dec. 29

Hope to see you there! Please call the Support Line, 614.315.8989, or email amy@poemonline.org if you have any questions.

CNN: Are you at risk for postpartum mood disorder?

2009-08-05T13:21:00.002-04:00

A great, comprehensive article from CNN:
Postpartum Mood Disorder

Article in The Columbus Dispatch - front page!

2009-07-28T08:04:00.004-04:00

We made the Front Page!
Here's the link to the full article: Fearful mothers finding help: Support group, doctors take on depression
Thank you to The Columbus Dispatch and Medical Reporter Misti Crane for providing a quality, well-balanced article about the important issue of maternal mental health. Many thanks, also, to Jobie Krantz and Heidi McAlister for their contributions to the piece. And, most importantly, thank you to our unsung hero, Amy Burt, in leading our vital mom-to-mom support programs!

Postpartum Depression is Top Priority for New ACOG President

2009-07-26T22:59:00.004-04:00

Chicago, IL -- Today Gerald F. Joseph Jr, MD, of Louisiana , became the 60th president of The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), based in Washington , DC . During his inaugural speech at ACOG's Annual Clinical Meeting, Dr. Joseph announced that postpartum depression is the theme of his presidential initiative.
"While in an ideal world, the newly delivered mother is at the peak of her reproductive health, with a beautiful child and, ideally, a supportive, loving family, this unfortunately is not always the case," said Dr. Joseph. "Studies show that this is a most vulnerable time for our patients, especially those prone to depression or those with a history of depression." Complicating matters is that the new mother often can't bring herself to admit to any problems or negative emotions due to societal pressures, he said. Instead of asking for help, she may feel guilty for not being 'grateful' or a 'good' mother.
Dr. Joseph explained that the 'baby blues,' which affect as many as 80% of new mothers, usually start early after delivery and spontaneously resolve within a very short period of time. "But what happens when these negative feelings don't resolve and true major depression becomes a part of the process?" he asked. "This can be devastating for the mother, the child, the partner, the family, and the ob-gyn who is caring for her."
There are three areas in particular that need to be addressed, according to Dr. Joseph. "First, we need to determine the true prevalence and incidence of postpartum depression," he said. Because definitions of depression vary among different studies, postpartum depression is estimated to range anywhere from five percent to more than 25 percent, depending on these changing definitions and the diversity of populations studied. "Second, the available screening tools to assess potentially at-risk pregnant women often are imprecise and leave much to be desired. And, finally, we need to develop evidence-based guidelines for ACOG members to screen for postpartum depression."
"We also need to know how ACOG Fellows screen and identify patients suffering from postpartum depression," Dr. Joseph continued. "When do they counsel? How do they treat? Do they refer to other specialists for treatment? What kind of local programs are available for education and support? These are all questions that we need answers to."
In addition, Dr. Joseph said, "Let us hope that this is the year for real, meaningful health care reform. Effective, affordable health care needs to start on the front end with prevention of disease, rather than the acute care on the back end that too many of our citizens receive today. We end up caring for sicker patients and paying much more for expensive acute care rather than the less expensive preventive care. As president, I assure you that ACOG will continue to push for preventive care for all."
Dr. Joseph is a senior consultant in gynecology at the Ochsner Health Center in Covington , LA , and clinical assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Louisiana State University and Tulane University in New Orleans . He has been an ACOG Fellow since 1978. Dr. Joseph has chaired the Committee on Scientific Program and the task forces on Enhancing Practice Satisfaction and District and Section Contributions. He has been a member of ACOG's Executive Board and has served as the Executive Board liaison to the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine. Dr. Joseph has served on the committees on Gynecologic Practice, Nominations, Credentials, and Long-Range Planning and on the task forces on Medical Student Recruitment, Nominations Process, and Scope of Practice. He has been a member of the Council of District Chairs, the Grievance Committee's Appeals Panel Committee, and the medical advisory board for pause® magazine.
Dr. Joseph has served in numerous regional leadership positions, including chair of ACOG District VII and the Louisiana Section. He has also served as District VII scientific program chair and as a member of the Missouri Section Advisory Council. Dr. Joseph is past president of the New Orleans Gynecological and Obstetrical Society and the Southeastern Obstetrical and Gynecological Society. He has been active in the Central Association of Obstetricians and Gynecologists for many years, serving as a member of the board of trustees and as vice president.
Dr. Joseph received his medical degree from Tulane University and completed his residency at Louisiana State University in Shreveport .
# # #
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is the nation's leading group of physicians providing health care for women. As a private, voluntary, nonprofit membership organization, ACOG: strongly advocates for quality health care for women; maintains the highest standards of clinical practice and continuing education of its members; promotes patient education; and increases awareness among its members and the public of the changing issues facing women's health care.

Time Magazine: Faulty Article Fails Moms

2009-07-14T10:49:00.003-04:00

To the Editors of Time:

Time has done a great disservice to all mothers who are suffering and will suffer from postpartum depression (PPD). In an article called “The Melancholy of Motherhood” journalist Catherine Elton writes a distorted story that no doubt has already begun to confuse and stigmatize women with PPD.

We cannot understand why Time would choose to sensationalize what is a very serious medical issue for hundreds of thousands of women in the United States each year, and to create controversy around the MOTHERS Act, the one and only piece of legislation that would help to systematize support and services that are sorely lacking in so many places throughout our country.

There are several points in the article that concern us:

1. The MOTHERS Act is not “dividing psychologists” as Elton opines. The American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association and the National Association of Social Workers wholeheartedly endorse the MOTHERS Act. In fact, you neglect to mention that much of the medical community supports the bill. It has been publicly endorsed by the March of Dimes, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the American College of Nurse Midwives, the National Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies Coalition, and the Association of Women’s Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses, among many others. You didn’t represent any of them in your piece, all of which are highly regarded organizations which have a long record of dedication to the health of both mothers and babies.

2. Elton calls screening controversial and infers it may not even work. Many women will tell you that screening saved their lives, and others who were not screened wish they had been so they could have received treatment sooner. In fact, Elton interviewed at least two such women but they were not represented in the article. Screening for PPD is an effective way to identify women who may have it. Both the sensitivity (misses few sufferers) and specificity (some, but not too many false positives) of the widely-used and validated Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, for instance, is very well-established. We’d be happy to send you multiple, contemporary, highly-regarded studies that support this.

3. Elton states that “… increased screening could lead to an increase in mothers being prescribed psychiatric medication unnecessarily.” First, the MOTHERS Act does not require screening. Second, none of the screening tools for depression were designed to take the place of evaluation by health care professionals, so it is manipulation to suggest that screening alone will yield treatment of any kind or specifically treatment via medication. In a study of large scale universal screening efforts of more than 1000 pregnant and postpartum women, screening for depression did not lead to greater rates of treatment (Yonkers et al., Psychiatric Services, 2009). This is because there are many barriers to treatment, regardless of a positive screen. Additionally, for those who are able and choose to be treated, many women elect methods that don’t include medication (Pearlstein et al., Archives of Women’s Mental Health, 2006).

4. Time should be more careful when discussing the causes of PPD. We were surprised to see such a well-regarded publication misrepresent the results of a small research study that provided evidence to support the idea that a subset of women are more susceptible to hormonal changes as a trigger for depression, such as PPD, by prefacing the results with the unsubstantiated statement that “pregnancy hormones … have little to do with PPD in most cases.” This study showed that for those with a known history of depression, the hormonal changes that occur following delivery may increase one’s risk for developing symptoms during the postpartum period. Yet Elton attempts to use these results to support Michael O’Hara’s overgeneralization that women without prior history of “lots of anxiety and depressive symptoms” (what does this even mean objectively?!) “are unlikely to have problems in the postpartum period – not even close to likely.” Reporting results out of context to support the opinions of a source is appalling.

The fact that women who have had depression or anxiety in the past are more likely to experience PPD is nothing new. This is only one of many risk factors that have been identified. Your article, however, attempted to make a previous history of depression or anxiety the single key to identifying PPD. This will lead women who are ill but who have never been clinically diagnosed or treated for a mental illness to believe they must not have PPD. Many women who suffer will tell you it was the first time they were ever treated for a mental illness and the first time they came to realize they may have suffered from depression or anxiety in the past. You also leave out women who have no history of depression or anxiety but ended up with PPD for other reasons. Perhaps you were not aware, for instance, that diabetes is a risk factor for PPD (Kozhimannil et al., JAMA, 2009), as is thyroiditis. Women who deliver multiples or have babies born with serious health problems also have a higher risk of getting PPD.

5. The language used in the article frustratingly minimizes the devastation that PPD can cause. Such phrases as “the melancholy of motherhood” and “still, there is no denying that the postpartum period is a difficult one for many women” almost brush PPD off as a blue funk or a trying transition time for new moms. This signifies a clear lack of understanding about the seriousness of this illness that somewhere between 10 and 20% of women around the world suffer. PPD impacts a mother’s ability to function on a daily basis. It is not a difficult period. Elton asks, “Does PPD screening identify cases of real depression or simply contribute to the potentially dangerous medicalization of motherhood?” It is no more medicalizing motherhood to identify and treat PPD than it is to identify and treat gestational diabetes, which is universally screened for and occurs in only 3.5% of mothers.

As Time reported in June, the National Academies fully endorses screening for parental depression and believes it is crucial, while also emphasizing that screening is not helpful unless there is effective follow up and treatment tied to it. Supporters of the MOTHERS Act share that belief. Although effective treatment is available, fewer than half of cases of postpartum depression are recognized (Gjerdingen et al., Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine, 2007). Even fewer of those women ever receive treatment of any kind.

We are terribly sorry about the experience of the one mother quoted in your article, which happens on rare occasions, but we believe that the MOTHERS Act would actually go a long way to prevent what happened to her. What this bill actually funds is research, education and awareness. If these pieces are put in place, women, families and medical professionals will be better educated to prevent false positives from screening. A well-trained and educated physician will know to refer the patient on to a specialist who can inform her of various treatment options and monitor her to ensure the treatment she chooses is effective. A woman who has been made fully aware of the kind of services she should receive and the risks and benefits of the treatments available to her will be able to make the best choice for herself and her family.

Time focused on one potential but unlikely consequence of the MOTHERS Act rather than the actual content of the bill and why it is so sorely needed. We are deeply disappointed.

Sincerely,

Mary Jo Codey, mother of 2, former first Lady of New Jersey, kindergarten teacher, New Jersey
Carol Blocker, mother of Melanie Blocker Stokes (http://www.melaniesbattle.org/), Illinois (carolblocker@aol.com)

Sonia Murdock, co-founder and executive director of the Postpartum Resource Center of New York (http://www/. postpartumny.org), past president of PSI, New York

Cheryl Beck, DNSc, CNM, FAAN, mother of 2, Board of Trustees Distinguished Professor at the University of Connecticut School of Nursing, co-author of the American Journal of Nursing 2006 Book of the Year award, Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders: A Clinician’s Guide, Connecticut (Cheryl.beck@uconn.edu)

Amy D. Gagliardi, mother of 4, Director of a Perinatal Health Clinic at a Federally Qualified Health Center, writer, researcher and chair of the Woman's Health Sub-Committee of Connecticut's Medicaid Managed Care Council, Connecticut (amyd.gagliardi@gmail.com)

Valerie Plame Wilson, mother of 2, author of Fair Game, New Mexico

Adrienne Griffen, mother of 3, founder of Postpartum Support Virginia (http://postpartumva.org/), and mid-Atlantic regional coordinator for Postpartum Support International, Virginia (Adrienne.griffin@gmail.com)

Heidi Koss-Nobel, MA, mother, psychotherapist, Chairperson of Postpartum Support International of Washington (http://www.ppmdsupport.com/), Washington (heidikossnobel@comcast.net)

George J. Parnham, Attorney at Law, co-founder of the Yates Children Memorial Fund, Texas (georgeparnham@aol.com)

Ann Dunnewold, Ph.D., mother of 2, licensed psychologist, author of Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box, past president of Postpartum Support International, Texas (ann@anndunnewold.com)

Diane G. Sanford, Ph.D., internationally-recognized expert on pregnancy and postpartum emotional health, medical advisory board member on Babycenter.com, adjunct associate professor at the St. Louis University School of Public Health, Missouri (ssanford7@earthlink.net)
Tonya Fulwider, mother of 2, executive director of Perinatal Outreach & Encouragement (http://www.poemonline.org/), regional coordinator for Postpartum Support International, Ohio (tonya@poemonline.org)

Adrienne Martini, mother of 2, author of Hillbilly Gothic: A Memoir of Madness & Motherhood, New York (amartini@stny.rr.com)

Katherine Stone, mother of 2, author of the most widely-read blog in the US on postpartum depression (http://postpartumprogress.typepad.com/), WebMD 2008 Health Hero, Georgia (stonecallis@msn.com)

Erin Reilly, co-founder of Sound of Silence, Friends of the Postpartum Resource Center (http://www.soundsofsilencefoundation.org/) of New York, New York

Jen Stoll, mother of 2, executive director of The Postpartum Resource Center of Kansas (http://kansasppd.org/), Kansas (jen.stoll@gmail.com)

Erika Krull, MS, LMHP, mother of 3, mental health counselor, author of the Family Mental Health blog on Psych Central (http://blogs.psychcentral.com/family/), Nebraska (elkrull@yahoo.com)

Wendy N. Davis, Ph.D., mother of 2, psychotherapist & perinatal mood disorders consultant, founding director of Baby Blues Connection (http://www.babybluesconnection.org/), PSI Volunteer Coordinator, Oregon (wdavis@postpartum.net)

Therese Borchard, mother of 2, author of the Beyond Blue blog on Beliefnet (http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue/), author of several books including The Imperfect Mom: Candid Confessions of Mothers Living in the Real World, Maryland (therese@thereseborchard.com)

Carol Peindl, RN, MSN, CNS, psychotherapist/nurse for the Prenatal and Postpartum Center of the Carolinas, PSI coordinator for the state of North Carolina, North Carolina (cpeindl@roadrunner.com)

Diana Lynn Barnes, Ph.D., mother of 2, award-winning psychotherapist, past president of Postpartum Support International, California (dbarnes@postpartumhealth.com)

Lauren Hale, mother of 3, author of Sharing the Journey blog (http://unexpectedblessing.wordpress.com/), iVillage Community Leader for Postpartum Depression and Pregnancy & Depression/Mental Illness Message Boards, Georgia (lauren.hale@ppdacceptance.org)

Pec Indman, PA, EdD, MFT, mother of 2, psychotherapist, co-author of Beyond the Blues, A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression, Education and Training Chair of Postpartum Support International, expert panelist for the Maternal and Child Health Bureau/HRSA, California (pec@beyondtheblues.com)

Tara Mock, mother of 2, author of the Out of the Valley blog for Christian postpartum depression support (tara@outofthevalley.org)

Ivy Shih Leung, mother of 1, author of Ivy's PPD Blog (http://ivysppdblog.wordpress.com/), New Jersey

Helen Ferguson Crawford, mother of 2, architect, Georgia (hcrawford@lasarchitect.com)

Karen Kleiman, MSW, founder and director of The Postpartum Stress Center (http://www.postpartumstress.com/), author of several books on postpartum depression, Pennsylvania (kkleiman@aol.com)

Catherine Connors, mother, author of the Her Bad Mother blog (http://www.badladies.blogspot.com/), Canada (herbadmother@gmail.com)

Joan Mudd, mother, founder of the Jennifer Mudd Houghtaling Postpartum Depression Foundation (http://www.ppdchicago.org/), Illinois (joanmudd@comcast.net)

Susan Dowd Stone, MSW, LCSW, NJHSS Certified Perinatal Mood Disorders Instructor, Public Reviewer for the National Institutes of Mental Health, author and Adjunct Lecturer at the Silver School of Social Work at New York University, New Jersey (Susanstonelcsw@aol.com)

Marcie Ramirez, mother, PSI Coordinator of Middle Tennessee, Tennessee

Amber Koter-Puline, mother of 1, author of the Beyond Postpartum Blog (http://www.atlantappdmom.blogspot.com/) and Atlanta support group facilitator, Georgia (amberkoter@aol.com)

Amy Tobias, mother, Indiana (atobias@tobiasofc.com)

Kimmelin Hull, PA-C, LCCE, mother of three, director of Pregnancy to Parenthood and author of A Dozen Invisible Pieces and Other Confessions of Motherhood, Montana (kmh@pregnancytoparenthood.org)

Sylvia Lasalandra-Frodella, mother of 1, Constituent Relations for the former First Lady of New Jersey Mary Jo Codey, author of A Daughter’s Touch, New Jersey

Lisa Jeli, mother of 1, California

Susan McRoberts, mother of 3, author of The Lifter of My Head: How God Sustained Me Through Postpartum Depression (suemcroberts@mac.com)

Sara Pollard, RN, BS, Clarian Women’s Health Services, Indiana (spollar2@clarian.org)

Amy Burt, MA, mother of 3, director of operations, Perinatal Outreach & Encouragement for Moms (http://www.poemonline.org/), Ohio Coordinator for Postpartum Support International, Ohio

Diane Ashton, MSW, mother of 2, founder of PPD Support Hawaii (http://www.ppdsupporthi.org/), Hawaii

Laurel R. Spence, MS, PA-C, mother of 3, Assistant Professor, Baylor College of Medicine, clinical physician assistant, Women’s Specialists of Houston, Yates’ Children Memorial Fund/Women’s Mental Health Initiative advisory council member, speaker’s bureau Mental Health America – Houston and Postpartum Support International member, Texas (lspence@bcm.tmc.edu)

Recovering...from a bad day

2009-07-07T15:02:00.002-04:00

Everyone has bad days once in a while. But plain old bad days aren't so simple once you've experienced a mood disorder. When you've suffered from depression, anxiety, etc., and have had a period of many bad days, the part-of-life down days carry a whole different meaning.

What if I'm slipping back down again? What will I do? These worries can make a plain 'ol crappy day much worse.

So we must prepare.

Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC, a Psychologist and Life and Wellness Coach, has written an excellent piece, "How to Recover from a Bad Day." She writes:

Bad days are a part of life. We all have them. No matter how many yoga classes you attend or how smoothly your life runs, you'll run up against one sooner or later. The secret to thriving is learning how to move forward in spite of bad days, not aiming to never have one (although minimizing their frequency is a good thing).

Here are some tips for dusting yourself off and getting back on track after a bad day happens:

Do you have permission to have a bad day? Make sure that your inner-perfectionist (the one who requires all-or-nothing success) isn't running your show. Are you knee-deep in self-blame or guilt for things that may have contributed to your bad day (or for the way you reacted to it)? As long as you are busy beating yourself up, you won't be able to move on. Why not try on the idea that an occasional bad day is simply to be expected? It doesn't mean you failed; it means it's time to implement the "bad day plan."

Are you ready to move on, and what will you need to let go of to do so? This is an important question. Are you ready to move on from your bad day, or do you need it to continue for a little while longer? If you are busy beating yourself up, or feeling miserable, or drowning your sorrows, or feeling indignant and victimized, you're not ready to stop having a bad day yet. What do you need to let go of in order to start to shift into a different space? Anger, hurt, frustration, and negativity are all common answers.

What do you want to move on TO? How do you want things to be? How do you want to feel? What do you want your mindset or mental attitude to be? Your posture? Your facial expressions? Take a look in the mirror and make sure you aren't still carrying your bad day with you -- it's amazing how often we do this.

What helps you feel grounded? An important step in moving on from a bad day is connecting with the present and letting go of the past. What helps you to be really present in THIS moment -- completely here and alive? For some people, deep breathing or physical activity helps. Some people like to journal or spend quiet time alone. Take some time to get centered and to set your intention for how you want to BE in the present moment and into the future.

What kind thing can you do for yourself? This is what we do for others who are having a bad day. What can you do for yourself? (And no, a pint of ice cream doesn't count.) Can you call a friend or rent a movie? Pick a flower from your yard? Schedule a massage or a long bath or buy some new nail polish? Bad day recovery days are prime times for self-care.

What's one thing you can commit to that is a positive action? It doesn't need to be big. Pick one small step or action that signifies that you are moving in a positive direction. Do a good deed or a short workout or clean out one drawer. You'll know the action that fits. Your goal is to take the first step toward getting on a more positive track, and when that's done, take the next one.

www.poemonline.org

August meeting correction

2009-07-07T15:00:00.003-04:00

Our Saturday meeting in August has been changed to the 15th - not the 8th, as previously posted. Same time, same place.

Thanks!

Our next meeting, a new meeting night & 2009 schedule

2009-06-11T14:11:00.005-04:00

Our next support group meeting is scheduled for this Saturday, June 13 at 10am. We meet at Northwest Counseling Services, 1560 Fishinger Rd, Columbus, 43221. CLICK HERE for map/directions.

Also, beginning this month, our long-standing Monday evening meetings will move to Tuesday evenings. They'll still be held the last week of the month in the same location. So - our meeting schedule for the remainder of 2009 looks like this:

SATURDAY 10:00am
June 13
July 11
Aug. 8
Sept. 12
Oct. 10
Nov. 14
Dec. 12

TUESDAY 7:00pm
June 30
July 28
Aug. 25
Sept. 29
Oct. 27
Nov. 24
Dec. 29

Hope to see you there! Call the Support Line - 614-315-8989 or email tonya@poemonline.org if you have further questions or comments.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

http://www.poemonline.org/

Why mom-to-mom, face-to-face support is important

2009-06-01T12:22:00.003-04:00

Anna Quindlen recently wrote a Newsweek article about the importance support and informational programs for parents. She discusses a study that looked at helping parents of high-risk children learn basic child-rearing skills. The program she mentions, ParentCorps, looks like a fantastic program with great results. She also discusses the sad fact that although we live in an age where information is thrown at us nearly constantly, we're often not truly connecting with others for support - especially about parenting. Quindlen says, "It used to take a village to raise a child, but there isn't a village anymore. Instead of extended family, there's a playground where everyone pretends everything's fine, and a computer screen behind which women can say, under the cover of mommy blogs, 'How come this is so hard for me?' " MAKE NO MISTAKE, the many amazing blogs bravely written by mothers are very important and valuable. The internet and books can also be great tools. But mothers need more. Especially mothers who are coping with a mood disorder. The value of talking, in person, to other mothers about the challenges, frustrations, fears along with the joys of parenthood is enormous. It's real. Tangible. And it truly shows us, we are not alone.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

Meeting Tomorrow

2009-05-17T15:16:00.004-04:00

Our next Columbus Area Support Group meeting is tomorrow (a week earlier due to the Memorial Day holiday next Monday).
We'll meet at Northwest Counseling Center at 7pm.
If you have questions, please call the Support Line, 315-8989, or email tonya@poemonline.org

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

Next Support Group Meeting

2009-05-06T14:11:00.006-04:00

Our next Columbus area Support Group meeting is scheduled for Saturday, May 9 at 10am.

We will meet at our usual location, Northwest Counseling Services. Be sure to check the sign on the door, as it will say whether we'll be in the upstairs or downstairs meeting room.

A couple of temporary changes to note for this month:

1 -We will not hold our Maternal Wellness Group meeting on Saturday. This is only for this one meeting and we will resume the 2 groups at the following meeting.

2 - Our usual Monday night meeting will be held one week earlier - on May 18 - due to the Memorial Day holiday.

Support Group Meeting Tonight

2009-04-27T10:18:00.002-04:00

Our next support group meeting is tonight at 7pm.

We'll be at our usual location, Northwest Counseling Services.

Please call the Support Line (614)315-8989 or email me, tonya@poemonline.org for more information.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

Senator Menendez commends blog week for MBSMA

2009-04-24T16:58:00.003-04:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE April 20, 2009

CONTACTS:Menendez Press Office 202-224-4744

Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act has broad support in Congress, needs public pressure to overcome procedural obstacles
WASHINGTON – As bloggers around the country today advocate for passage of federal legislation to combat postpartum depression, U.S. Senator Robert Menendez (D-NJ), the Senate sponsor of the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act, applauded the effort as necessary to enact the bill into law.
The legislation has broad support in Congress and was able to pass the House of Representatives earlier this year, but has been stalled in the Senate because of objections by Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK). Senator Coburn commonly uses senatorial “holds” to stall disease-specific legislation, and indications are that he would do so with the MOTHERS Act.
“Postpartum depression is a condition that is not only more widespread than most realize but also more debilitating than most realize,” said Menendez. “We need to make sure these mothers are fully supported and informed, rather than scared and alone. Working together with a nationwide community of mothers, we are so close to enacting this important legislation into law. What we need is an intense dose of public pressure. This Blog Day helps reinforce the type of grassroots movement that will create the pressure that is needed, and I commend the participants.
I invite mothers, fathers and anyone else who believes we need to better support those with postpartum depression to contact their Senators and urge them to vocally support S.324”
The legislation would increase federal efforts to combat postpartum depression by:
Encouraging Health and Human Services (HHS) to coordinate and continue research to expand the understanding of the causes of, and find treatments for, postpartum conditions.
Encouraging a National Public Awareness Campaign, to be administered by HHS, to increase awareness and knowledge of postpartum depression and psychosis.Requiring the Secretary of HHS to conduct a study on the benefits of screening for postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis.
Creating a grant program to public or nonprofit private entities to deliver or enhance outpatient, inpatient and home-based health and support services, including case management and comprehensive treatment services for individuals with or at risk for postpartum conditions.
Activities may also include providing education about postpartum conditions to new mothers and their families, including symptoms, methods of coping with the illness, and treatment resources, in order to promote earlier diagnosis and treatment.
It is estimated that postpartum depression (PPD) affects from 10 to 20 percent of new mothers. In the United States, there may be as many as 800,000 new cases of postpartum conditions each year. The cause of PPD isn’t known but changes in hormone levels, a difficult pregnancy or birth, and a family history of depression are considered possible factors.
# # # end of release

Show your support for The MOTHERS Act

2009-04-20T21:14:00.006-04:00

Two things you must do this week:

1) Add your name to the list of Ohioans who support The MOTHERS Act at Perinatal Pro. Either send your name to me, tonya@poemonline.org or to susanstonelcsw@aol.com. If you send to Susan: along with your name, be sure to include your state and any affiliations.

2) Call Senator Sherrod Brown and let him know Ohio supports The MOTHERS Act. Here's his number: 202-224-2315

Lend your voice.

It is powerful.

Join the growing list of supporters of this vital legislation.

Thank you, Lauren, for leading this grassroots effort!

PPD on ABC's General Hospital

2009-04-19T21:20:00.003-04:00

The daytime soap opera "General Hospital" has recently carried a storyline of a character battling with Postpartum Depression. Since the show is obviously created for the purpose of entertainment, there's no duty nor expectation for them to create each detail with precise medical accuracy. Having said that, as a far-reaching media outlet, one would expect them to bear some responsibility in disseminating fairly accurate information. While I've not personally seen even a snippet of the show itself, the chatter in our postpartum circles has indicated that the coverage has been a mix of the expected from an entertainment outlet.

Postpartum Support International's (the organization for which POEM is the Ohio coordinator) President, Birdie Meyer, made an excellent statement about the desired outcome: "We are happy that they are covering the subject and want to bring attention to this disease."

In the ABC Press Release regarding the subject, Birdie goes on to say: “PSI is honored that the producers and writers of ‘General Hospital’ felt the topic of postpartum depression was an important one to share with their audience,” said Meyer. “Millions of women’s lives can be saved by ending the fear and isolation of sufferers and offering access to treatment resources. We are grateful to ABC Daytime following up with a public service announcement and helping to raise awareness of what is truly the most common complication of childbirth.”

More on The MOTHERS Act

2009-04-09T17:18:00.003-04:00

Lauren Hale nobly works on setting the record straight on The MOTHERS Act at Sharing the Journey. Check it out.

The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act

2009-04-09T16:39:00.002-04:00

It only takes a few seconds of your time. STAND UP for mothers and families coping with postpartum depression. EMAIL your name (and any affiliations you may have) to POEM or to Susan Stone today. Our Senators must know that Ohio supports the MOTHERS Act. Please read on:

From Susan Stone-
This bill will provide funding for a wide variety of supportive services for mothers and families suffering from these illnesses; with healthcare reform a major part of the senate dialogue over these next few weeks, it is very important that our issue not be lost. We are going to send the listings to all U.S. Senators the week of Mothers Day. The list will be maintained until the legislation is passed, so you don't have to do this again!

The actual bill can be read, and listings of state by state support can be viewed at http://www.perinatalpro.com/ppdlegislation/listingofsupporters.html

Pec Indman!

2009-04-06T10:52:00.006-04:00

One of our very favorite healthcare professionals in the perinatal mood disorder world now has her own website, http://www.pecindman.com/. She's truly warm, engaging and inspiring in her educational seminars for those of us who care for perinatal mamas.

If you're pregnant, here's a must-read on her site: Mental Fitness for Labor & Delivery

And, here's an article for postpartum moms: Life in the Postpartum Lane

There's a section that reminds me of the "I am not my emotions" chat we had at the last meeting...where she says "feelings are feelings! They are not logical, rational, right or wrong. Allow yourself to feel them, and find someone safe and non-judgmental to talk to about them."
Thank you, Pec, for your continued work for moms!

Umbrellas

2009-03-30T11:46:00.006-04:00

There was recently a photo in The Dispatch taken on a gray, rainy day last week. It showed a dark, drab city skyline with a man carrying a bright red umbrella in the foreground. The red umbrella not only protected him from the chilly drizzle, but it was like a bright beacon in a dreary picture.

This photo sparked a thought: When the stressors are raining down, what could our "umbrellas" be? How can we use this umbrella to help us grow toward or maintain wellness?

Perhaps:

A phone call to a trusted, supportive friend

Five minutes of slow, deep breathing

A quick walk around the block

Keep thinking! We'll explore this a bit more at our meeting tonight.

Support Group Meeting Monday evening

2009-03-28T12:20:00.003-04:00

Our next support group meeting is coming up Monday evening, March 30.

The meeting begins at 7pm at our usual location, Northwest Counseling Services.

Please call the Support Line for more information (614)315-8989

"Momshell?" Hmmm...

2009-03-21T17:55:00.005-04:00

Yeah, that's what we need - even more pressure to be perfect. Perfect kids, perfect house...now perfect body? Now we're going to start idolizing mothers who look like they've never given birth? According to the recent AP article, 'Momshell' might be next door, it could be a new trend for moms.

To give them credit, the Hot Moms Club, who are interviewed for the story, are clear that being "hot" isn't all about looks. Social networking for moms is their plainly stated purpose. A great service, indeed. But, in their several features of celebrity moms, a reminder that these women have assistants, nannies and personal trainers at their disposal would be fantastic.

Here at POEM, we're all for moms taking good care of themselves and being healthy and fit. But as with all things mommy, it's about balance. If you want to have a perfect figure, the best hair, the trendy clothes - all things that seem to fall into this so-called "momshell" ideal - then you have to give up some things. Are we discussing what things these "hot moms" give up in order to make their appearance a top priority?

Make no mistake: In being in the business of mom support, we believe that each mother is the expert of her own life. And each mother needs to take time to be her own person OUTSIDE of being a mom. And if a mom chooses to focus on fitness and her looks - we support her in that decision.

But to say, "These days, it's all about being a momshell..." Nope. It's all about finding what works in your own life - and that is beautiful.

Support Group Meeting Tomorrow

2009-03-20T16:17:00.004-04:00

Our next Columbus area Support Group meeting is tomorrow at 10am.

We're at our usual location - Northwest Counseling Services...although we might be in the (bigger - yippee!) downstairs meeting room.

In addition to our regular pregnancy/postpartum and our Maternal Wellness groups, we will have a short discussion on accessing resources. How can we best connect moms to the resources that exist in the community? We'll discuss our own experiences - from the difficulties in just picking up the phone to what we found once we did make a call.

ALSO: Following the meeting, we're having a Mentor/volunteer training session. Opportunities to make a difference await!

D.E.C.O.M.P.R.E.S.S.

2009-03-16T21:21:00.005-04:00

We love acronyms here at POEM. And USA Weekend's Dr. Tedd Mitchell has a great one for combating stress. Be sure to get the most out of these tips by reading the full HealthSmart column. Note: The "organize your life" and "put people first" tips are applicable to our Maternal Wellness group moms, not new postpartum mamas.

Don't depend on drugs or alcohol.
details
Exercise.
details
Control spending.
details
Organize your life.
details
Medicate.
details
Put people first. (shameless plug: volunteer with POEM!)
details
Relax.
details
Eat nutritiously.
details
Sleep.
details
Simplify.
details

We've heard this so many times before...

2009-03-15T13:16:00.005-04:00

"Maybe I just wasn't meant to be a mom..." At POEM, we've heard it so much from moms suffering from PPD, we included it in our common feelings right on the homepage of our website.

A mother recently wrote to Carolyn Hax at the Washington Post, confessing similar feelings. And, it seems that her husband's having a hard time, too.

Carolyn gave this mom excellent advice - go talk to your doctor, get screened for PPD & do it right away. Absolutely.

Now, there's no certainty that this mom does have PPD, but she definitely seems to be suffering from unrealistic expectations. She mentions that she can't talk to anyone because of the shame of their "failure." What has this couple failed? What was the test? For the most part, as long as your trying your best - you're passing. Loving parenthood all the time is impossible. And she's reaching out, looking for help. That's the mark of a good parent - doing what you have to do to promote the health of your family.

In addition to a doctor visit and screening - This family situation cries out for the care that is Postpartum Support International. Not only can PSI provide them much needed empathetic listening, but peer support often helps families understand that it's a myth that parents should love being parents all the time.

The local PSI coordinator can offer her compassion, understanding and hope for the future.

And, there's help just for Dad: There's a fantastic resource called the Postpartum Dads Project. And, he can contact the PSI Dads coordinators, listed at the bottom of the resources page on PSI's website.

Indeed, Ms. Hax, call in the troops.

Mt. Carmel Perinatal Conference Registration Brochure

2009-03-13T12:09:00.003-04:00

Here's another excellent education opportunity from the fine folks at Mt. Carmel:

Click HERE for the Conference/Registration Brochure

It's in April, which is coming around the corner. (Hooray...finally) Get your registration in today!

Registration materials now available for Columbus PPD Conferences

2009-03-13T11:31:00.004-04:00

Registration for "The Many Faces of Perinatal Mood Disorders" conferences presented by the Franklin County Maternal Depression Task Force is now open.

CLICK HERE FOR THE CONFERENCE/REGISTRATION BROCHURE

The Task Force is a collaborative effort among individuals representing The Ohio State University Medical Center, OhioHealth, Mount Carmel, Council on Healthy Mothers and Babies, Nationwide Children's Hospital, POEM, Columbus Public Health and other agencies in Central Ohio. It was organized to address the lack of awareness and education regarding depression resources during and after pregnancy. Click HERE if you are interested in more information about the Task Force.

Some docs unhappy about online ratings

2009-03-11T23:24:00.001-04:00

There are online forums where consumers can review all kinds of products and services: hotels, mechanics, video games, child care…and doctors.

In response, some physicians are now asking patients to sign agreements – "gag orders" in essence – that prohibit them from posting a possible negative review.

Is this the best way to deal with potential criticism?

Or is it really reasonable to measure medical care providers the way we rate a lawn service or a roofer?

On the one hand, it's understandable why these docs may be weary of unfair negative reviews. They're sometimes associated with unwanted test results, medical procedures that didn't go as planned…It's the old "don't shoot the messenger" adage.

But, that's not always the argument practitioners are making for wanting to quash online patient reviews. Dr. Jeffrey Segal, a surgeon who started Medical Justice, a company that helps docs produce these "waivers" says patients should only measure their doctors by their medical skills. A vital part, of course, but the only measure? In a recent AP news story, Dr. Segal uses this example of an unfair review from rateMDs.com: "Very unhelpful, arrogant," it said of a doctor. "Did not listen and cut me off, seemed much too happy to have power (and abuse it!) over suffering people."

Fair or not fair – for a mom experiencing a mood disorder this review is valuable. Symptoms are often so confusing that moms need a doc who will take the time to listen. A care provider who shows compassion and understanding can be the very thing to lead a mom to recovery. Moreover, moms often do better with someone who will listen and works with treatment options vs. an experienced doc who holds great knowledge with an "it's my way or the highway" attitude.

Doesn't true medical skill involve both – compassion and knowledge?

30 Seconds of Your Time

2009-03-09T16:28:00.006-04:00

Thank you, Susan Stone, for this alert-

Sign the petition in support of HR 20 - The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act:

Click on this link (or copy and paste it in to your browser) http://capwiz.com/ndmda/issues/alert/?alertid=12832296

This is on an advocacy alert page on the DBSA website. Scroll down, enter your zip code and it automatically generates a nicely written letter to your Congressman.

I even added a little note to the letter to my representative, Mary Jo Kilroy, explaining my support on a personal level - and the whole thing still took less than a couple minutes.

Great "Wellness Wisdom" Tips from DBSA

2009-03-08T16:18:00.003-04:00

Can't seem to get a laundry list of worries from consuming your thoughts?

Feeling frustrated about not being able to control or accomplish all that you want?

Try out these tips from the Facing Us Clubhouse
from the fantastic folks at the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance:

Worry Writing
"When I feel overwhelmed with anxiety, I sometimes take out my journal and make a "worry list.” I start with the sentence stem, “I am worried that…”, and finish the sentence with as many things as I can think of. I don’t stop until I cannot think of any more. One time I had 31 worries! Getting all those worries written out is better than having them swirling around in my head. It helps me feel a little more in control."

“Can” Coping
"When I go through a depression, I’ve found it helpful to reframe my limitations in terms of “I can’t ____, but I can ____.” I don’t remember where I learned this, but I am grateful to whoever invented this coping strategy. An example is “I can’t do a lot of activities with my daughter, but I can encourage her to have her friends over to keep her engaged and entertained.” Or 'I can’t work right now, but I can do a bit of volunteering to make me feel productive and useful.' "

Why we do what we do: Because it works. Here's some proof.

2009-03-06T09:43:00.003-05:00

Mom to Mom Support Prevents PPD

Excerpted from WEB MD:

"Phone calls from volunteer mothers who overcame postpartum depression prevent depressive symptoms in at-risk mothers, a Canadian study shows.

'Mothers who received this support were at half the risk of depressive symptoms 12 weeks after delivery,' says study leader Cindy-Lee Dennis, PhD, Canada research chair in perinatal community health at the University of Toronto.

The study included 701 women at risk of postpartum depression. Half got standard postnatal care and half got peer support. With standard care, 25% of the mothers had significant depressive symptoms 12 weeks after delivery. About half as many women who got peer support -- 14% -- had such symptoms.

...'So we recruited mothers from the community who felt they had themselves experienced postpartum depression, so they know what it is like," Dennis tells WebMD. "Mothers are more willing to disclose their feelings to another mother who knows what it is like than to a doctor or nurse.' "

LINK TO FULL ARTICLE

March Meeting Schedule - NOTE THE CHANGE

2009-03-05T16:44:00.003-05:00

POEM Columbus Support Group Meeting Schedule for March -

Saturday, March 21 at 10am
***This is a week later than our usual Saturday. POEM will be at the Baby Bonanza: Everything from Pregnancy to Preschool on te 14th. Come and check it out.

Monday, March 30 at 7pm

Meetings are held at Northwest Counseling
1560 Fishinger Rd
Columbus, OH 43221

CLICK HERE FOR MAP/DIRECTIONS

Please call the Support Line, 614-315-8989, if you have any questions.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

Postpartum Dads on the Radio

2009-03-05T16:36:00.001-05:00

Here is a wonderful resource that is now posted on the PSI website. Please take the time to listen to the recording of the live Childhood Matters radio show recorded on Jan. 31st. Our two PSI Dads Coordinators, Will and David, and their guests presented this valuable hour.

Hosted by Dr. Will Courtenay, with guests David Klinker from postpartumdads.org, and PSI Member Lee Safran, MFT, marriage and family therapist.

Here's the link:
http://postpartum.net/resources/women-mothers/childhood-matters-radio-show-dads-as-postpartum-partners/

Online PPD assessment - it's a good thing, they say!

2009-03-04T22:49:00.002-05:00

A new study in the March 13 issue of the Maternal Child Health Journal (pubmed link) has concluded that using the internet to screen for postpartum depression is "viable and feasible." Since quality and consistent screening for moms at doctor's appointments throughout pregnancy and postpartum doesn't look to be on the near horizon here in Ohio, the online assessment is a real alternative.

So, if something just doesn't feel right - click this link. It may help guide your next steps.

And POEM is here...every step of the way.

PSI now has weekly info sessions for Dads, too!

2009-03-04T22:23:00.002-05:00

Postpartum Support International has recently added a weekly informational phone forum for Dads. They continue to offer the weekly Wednesday chat for moms.
There is no need to register, the sessions are live and free, and the facilitators are licensed, mental-health professionals. This is a place where dads, partners, extended family members or other support people, and professionals can find some answers and support from an expert – and from other men. Dads will find honest and compassionate talk about the adjustment to parenthood, information about how fatherhood can affect you, and some helpful advice. Participation can be anonymous.

See this link for details. http://postpartum.net/info-sessions/

Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act now scheduled for mark up in the House!

2009-03-04T22:06:00.003-05:00

Susan Stone, immediate past president of Postpartum Support International, reports that the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act is scheduled for markup this Wednesday, March 4th, in the Energy & Commerce Committee. She has all the info on this very important legislation, a list of representatives who can be encouraged to support the bill and the numerous great organizations who join us in supporting the MOTHERS Act. Check it out at http://perinatalpro.com/blog/?p=129

Anne Dunnewold is Coming Tomorrow!

2009-03-03T14:47:00.003-05:00

Just in the nick of time, I've learned that Anne Dunnewold, PhD, will be sharing her expertise here in Columbus tomorrow at the seminar: Women's Mental Health: Emotional Aspects of Reproduction Function

Anne is one of POEM's favorite experts, having authored our often -used Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box book, among other great reads.

Thank you to Maggie Hallet for sharing this with us!

Could Be Worse

2009-03-03T13:58:00.003-05:00

Pregnancy is certainly a physically and emotionally challenging time for many of us humans.

But, wowsers - check out poor Phoebe in this cute story in yesterday's Columbus Dispatch: Elephant Baby on Board

Golf Outing!

2009-03-03T13:36:00.002-05:00

Dads and golfers -
Plan to take the day off on May 13 and play some golf for POEM!

The first-ever POEM Golf Outing planning is under way. The outing will be held on Wednesday May 13, 2009 at Willow Run Golf Course. If you're interested in helping our POEM Dads with door prizes, donations or other planning assistance please email or call (614.315.8989) anytime.

More details to come soon...

Pregnant Moms with Diabetes 2X Risk for Depression

2009-02-26T10:20:00.002-05:00

A new study in the 2/25 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association reports that women with diabetes have almost double the risk of experiencing depression in pregnancy or within the first year postpartum.

Here's a video report from MedPage Today

Moms: This study just establishes a link. It does not mean that if you have diabetes, you're going to get PPD. Be aware of your risk, talk to your doctor and educate yourself and your loved ones of the signs and symptoms of PPD.

Baby Bonanza...Everything from Pregnancy to Preschool

2009-02-24T22:16:00.003-05:00

Don't Miss the Baby Bonanza Expo!
Baby Bonanza is Central Ohio’s premier,maternity,

baby and toddler event and has everything a

Mom, Dad or Grandparent needs to know!

CLICK HERE FOR COUPONS & MORE INFO

Saturday, March 14, 2009
10:00 am - 4:00 pm
Aladdin Event Center, 3850 Stelzer Road, Columbus, Ohio

New Kind of Screening for PPD in Pregnancy on the horizon?

2009-02-20T10:15:00.003-05:00

Thank you, Gail Bagwell of Nationwide Children's Hospital, for alerting us to this news!

From Medscape Medical News...

"Higher Levels of pCRH in Mid-Pregnancy Linked to Postpartum Depression"
Caroline Cassels

February 11, 2009 — Women with higher levels of a hormone produced by the placenta midway through pregnancy appear to be at significantly increased risk for postpartum depression (PPD), new research suggests.
Investigators at the University of California, Irvine found that women who developed PPD symptoms had higher levels of placental corticotropin-releasing hormone (pCRH) at 25 weeks' gestation, compared with their counterparts who did not develop the disorder (P < .001).
"If these findings can be replicated, this research could have strong clinical implications, potentially allowing clinicians to routinely screen for postpartum depression, which is very common and can have serious adverse effects on the mother as well as her infant," principal investigator Ilona S. Yim, PhD, told Medscape Psychiatry.
Confirmation of these results, she added, could mean that pCRH would be the first early biomarker for PPD.
The study was published in the February issue of Archives of General Psychiatry.

The full article can be found here from www.medscape.com

Great kids clothes resource from friend of POEM

2009-02-20T10:03:00.002-05:00

Check out Andy & Eve Luxury Children's Resale

http://andyandeveluxurychildrensresale.blogspot.com/

614.352.9495

Next Open House coming Friday, February 27

Monday's Meeting Topic

2009-02-20T09:43:00.002-05:00

At each support group meeting, we provide ample time for sharing and support. This is the central purpose of the meeting. But, we are always mindful of the group goal: empowering wellness. If time permits, we also have a discussion about a particular topic that is usually applicable to most of the attendees.

Our meeting topic for Monday's meeting will be Building your Support System, adapted from the book Postpartum Depression Demystified by Joyce Venis. We will have an activity that helps us look at what comprises our current support system and where there may be holes or room for improvement. If needed, how can we find and receive additional support? We will discuss!

Additionally, we will have information regarding coping with anxiety and panic attacks.

We hope to see you Monday, February 23 at 7:00pm.

Meetings are held at Northwest Counseling
1560 Fishinger Rd
Columbus, OH 43221

CLICK HERE FOR MAP/DIRECTIONS

Please call the Support Line, 614-315-8989, if you have any questions.
It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

Saturday's meeting topic

2009-02-11T22:40:00.003-05:00

Our topic for the upcoming group meeting, time permitting:

Myths and Realities of Being a Mom
An in-depth and candid talk about the facts and fictions of raising kids

Are you caught in a trap of holding yourself to unrealistic expectations? Have you allowed yourself to be human today?

Bring your thoughts, questions and ideas on Saturday.

February Support Group Schedule

2009-02-11T22:07:00.003-05:00

Our February 2009 meetings:

Saturday, February 14 at 10am
Monday, February 23 at 7pm

Meetings are held at Northwest Counseling
1560 Fishinger Rd
Columbus, OH 43221

CLICK HERE FOR MAP/DIRECTIONS

Please call the Support Line, 614-315-8989, if you have any questions.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

PPD Education in Columbus

2009-02-10T15:50:00.004-05:00

The Many Faces of
Perinatal Mood Disorders
Presented by:
Franklin County Maternal Depression Task Force

Attend ONE session:
Wednesday April 29, 2009 at Nationwide Children’s Hospital
OR
Wednesday June 24, 2009 at Riverside Health Center
5:30-8:10 pm

Registration materials coming soon

Sponsored by: Columbus Public Health’s Caring For 2 Project

2009-01-25T14:43:00.003-05:00

Our next support group meeting is scheduled for tomorrow, January 26 at 7:00 pm. The topic, time permitting, is "Taking Care of You." We will examine general self-care tips and discuss how attendees can individualize particular ideas themselves. Please contact us through the website or call (614) 315-8989 if you have any questions about our support groups.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

January 10 Meeting Topic

2009-01-09T15:24:00.002-05:00

If time allows, our topic for tomorrow's meeting will cover one of the Nine Key Challenges discussed in Valerie Davis Raskin's book The Making of a Mother: Overcoming the Nine Key Challenges - from Crib to Empty Nest

Hope to see you tomorrow!

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

January Support Meeting Schedule

2009-01-09T14:39:00.006-05:00

Our Columbus Area Support Group January 2009 meetings:

Saturday, January 10 at 10am
Monday, January 26 at 7pm

Meetings are held at Northwest Counseling Services
1560 Fishinger Rd
Columbus, OH 43221

CLICK HERE FOR MAP/DIRECTIONS

Please call us at (614) 315-8989 for more information.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

2008-12-05T15:34:00.002-05:00

The Columbus area support group meeting for December 2008:

Saturday, December 13 at 10am

Monday, December 29 at 7pm

Please call (614) 315-8989 if you are interested in attending.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org

Welcome

2008-11-03T12:51:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the Columbus area page of POEM!

Our next support group meeting is scheduled for this Saturday, November 8 at 10am. Our meetings are held at Northwest Counseling, 1560 Fishinger Rd., Columbus, 43221.

It’s okay to reach out for help.
That’s why we’re here.

www.poemonline.org