Gutting Judgment

Why must we judge each other so? How about a little MYOB?

I came across this post this morning:
4 Times It’s Perfectly OK to Judge Other Parents

In reading the 4 examples, our gut reaction might be to think “Oh yeah! Ugh. SO irritating, right? Those poor kids with dreadful, self-centered/absent/discipline-lacking mothers.”

But why? Seriously, what’s the point? How does it help us be better mothers ourselves? Because we can look down at another, without knowing the whole story?

It doesn’t seem a far cry from “Nah, nah, nah, I’m better than you!”

Maybe I’m judging the judgers, I don’t know. I’m guessing the author’s purpose is not malicious and is more for entertainment. But, still.

I think it bothers me so because so often I see moms at POEM, struggling with perinatal mood/anxiety disorders, actually believe the judgmental comments they hear.
And they feel not good enough, broken, flawed. And it’s just not true.

No two mothers are the same. No two children are the same. No two families are the same.

So, of course, we may see another’s parenting choice as one we’d not make in our own lives, but that’s fine. That doesn’t make one better than the other. Just different.

Enough with the judgment. Find something else to do, like supporting mothers to find the confidence to recognize that they are the expert in their own lives.

We must care for ourselves and our children in the way that works best for us.
It just DOES NOT MATTER what anyone else thinks.