Just Say No, I DARE you.

As I listened to my daughter's 5th grade class sing the DARE song at last's week's program graduation, I thought back to the Just Say No programs that I recall in school.  Did we have a nifty song too?  I don't remember. 

We're all familiar with the purpose and value of teaching kids how to stand up to peer pressure, value themselves and make good choices.  But, now that we're all grown up, how do we moms rate? 

Do you succumb to peer pressure?  Feel yourself saying "Yes" to commitments, activities even if you'd rather not? 

Yes, of course, let's have all the in-laws at our house. 
Sure!  I'll bake the cupcakes! 
Absolutely, count me in to help with the....

Maybe Just Say No should have a mommy curriculum.  After all, if you just say no to one commitment, what might you be saying yes to?  Yes to time to relax.  Yes to setting boundaries.  Yes to...

Tough love

I don't much like running.  I just can't do it.  Consequently, I've always had this admiration for those who run marathons and all that really tough kind of exercise.  Like there's some extra physical tough-ness gene I missed out on.  Or I'm a wimp. 

So I read with interest an article by Jillian Michaels on becoming a mother recently published in Self Magazine.  She seems pretty tough, after all.  Surely it's easy for someone like her.
But I really do know better.  Good moms are not made just by working harder.  You can work all night to get the baby to go to sleep, and still be unsuccessful.
It's not a toughness test.  Oh yes, there's endurance involved, for sure, but it's balance and expectations.  They are key.  Learning how to balance your needs with those of the child and the expectation that there really is no perfect balance.  And, just like the rest of us, Jillian struggles with those, too.

Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, Officially!

It's May. The month in which we honor mothers. Here at POEM, while we serve moms all year long, we've really turned up our advocacy chops this month.

We’re proud of our long-running support services, but there’s more to do.  We must bring awareness in our community of how common, treatable and REAL perinatal mood and anxiety disorders really are.

You know it, right? You've been listening? You are not alone. You are not to blame; your illness is real. And with help, you'll get better.  

But in order to support the mothers who follow, the thousands right here in our community who will also struggle, we must reach out. Keep talking.

To that end, we're proud to share a couple recent accomplishments:

This week, The Franklin County Maternal Depression Task Force, led by Caring for 2, POEM and Columbus Public Health received proclamations declaring May as Maternal Depression Awareness Month from the Columbus City Council and the Franklin County Commissioners. 

In concert with this Public Awareness Campaign, the amazing genius-folk at

GSW Worldwide created a :30 PSA based on our longer video created last May.  Check it out!

 

Thank you.

In celebration National Volunteer Week, April 15-21

THANK YOU

to the many wonderful, beautiful, caring, giving, brilliant, dynamic and dedicated
volunteers that keep POEM going strong. To our
Board of Directors,
Advisors,
Mentors,
Facilitators,
Support Line Volunteers,
Coordinators,
Fundraisers,
Project Volunteers
and Donors:
each and every one of you are truly and greatly appreciated and needed.

The MOMologues. Why?

Why The MOMologues?

Because

Together, I can.

Yes, The MOMologues: The Original Comedy About Motherhood is POEM's only signature benefit event for the year. Yes, the awareness and the funds raised are vital to our mission.  

But why did we select a comedy about motherhood?  After all, the issues in which POEM addresses are serious stuff. Depression, anxiety, obsessive thoughts are nothing to laugh at.  True, but the funny, silly, crazy, scary things that happen throughout pregnancy, new motherhood and beyond, bond us all. 

All mothers, at some moments, feel as though they’ve no idea what they’re doing.
All mothers, at some moments, cry.  Sob.  Weep.  From worry, joy, sadness, fear.
All mothers, at some moments, feel overwhelmed.
All mothers, at some moments, wonder what happened to their mind – and their bodies.

And while, in this age of Mommy Bloggers and social media, more stories of Real Moms are shared – and that is important, to be applauded and supported – nothing can replace the power of together. 

Together, I can:
Meet my own needs in order to meet the needs of my family.
Ask for help when I need it.
Forgive myself for mistakes.
Live in the chaos.

Coming together to laugh, cry, share – face to face – is powerful and vital.  It reminds each and every one of us that when we’re spent, tired, frustrated, grumpy, worried and feeling alone: that we are not. 

We are together, as mothers, as a community: powerful.   

And funny. 

See you at the show.

I Just Wish

...this would all go away.

...I could stop worrying.

...I'd know when I will feel like me again.

...I could get some freaking sleep.

While we'd all like to find that four-leaf clover and enjoy a little Luck o'the Irish, wishing our troubles away doesn't really get us too far. Even on St. Patty's Day, just around the corner.

And oftentimes, wishes come as an expression of exasperation, frustration. "Why me?! I wish..."
And instead of moving toward feeling better, the wishing relinquishes yet another piece of control from your hands. Almost like telling yourself there's nothing you can do.

PPD is not a choice and as such, getting better is not just a decision to not have said PPD. If only.
But you can do way more than wish it away.  You can choose to keep fighting, seeking treatment and support.

And if you're wishing you had someone to talk to, resources for treatment or a caring community of support, you're in luck. We're here.

Value you.

When wading through the depths of PPD, surviving day-to-day life and stresses is the goal. Nitty gritty, down and dirty survival. Clawing the cliff of worries, insecurities, sleep deprivation, adjustments to parenthood. The harsh reality of pulling through a pregnancy-postpartum mood/anxiety disorder:
taking it
a day
an hour
a moment at a time.

Believe it or not – it does get better. Hope returns. Sometimes hope briefly makes an appearance and steals away.  Such is the nature of the winding road to recovery.  When that glimmer shows itself,
even the teeniest bit,
even for a moment,
consider looking to find or rediscover something you enjoy. Something you’re passionate about.

There's an article (link) from a few months ago about this idea. It's more about general depression, which typically differs from PPD, but makes a similar point.

But the true inspiration for this post came from three women, mothers, who, through their theatrical talents, are living this very ideal:

Melissa Muguruza Weaver – SLEEPER, Everybody’s Girl

Kim Garrison Hopcraft – Rubenstein’s Kiss

Amy Anderson – Sideways Stories from Wayside School

I had the honor of meeting each of these women last year, when POEM produced its first Moms Night Out event, The MOMologues: The Original Comedy About Motherhood. They, along with other fabulous women, generously gave of their time and talent to direct and star in the show. (And save the date, The MOMologues is returning this year on May 11.)

Now, stop it right now if you’re comparing. If you’re struggling to get through the basics of day-to-day life and see what these women are doing and thinking you’re inadequate, it is simply not true. No matter where you are today, you are just as beautiful, powerful as anyone else.
Your inherent resilience and strength is in there. 
And each person finds what gives them joy on their own, in their own time.

The MOMologues brings to light the crazy, funny emotional events that happen (to all moms – regardless of PPD) throughout pregnancy and new motherhood. In observing the first rehearsal last year, I learned that each cast member identified with some challenge comically addressed in the show. So, despite of their talent, beauty and brilliance, they, too, didn’t always know the answers. And I’m guessing they still don’t. But each continues the journey and serves as an inspiration to delve into what they love to do as an individual – addressing their own human needs in addition to providing care and love for their children. They’re a true example to their children – and to us - to live our dreams, whatever they are.

Take this moment to give yourself permission to address your own, personal needs. Consider squeezing in time to do something meaningful or fun for you. You are worthy. Doing something for you is more than okay – it’s good for you.